I've been in Turkey now for seventeen months and everyday is an adventure in knowing and not knowing the language. Today as I was talking with a friend in my only-present-tense, broken Turkish, I searched for the Turkish word for “curious”(merakli) only to resign myself to “kelime gelmiyor”. Which I think means, literally, “word not come”. Just when I had begun to gain a considerable amount of confidence, I had to admit defeat. I have friends whom I have known for months, but from time to time, each has expressed frustration at our inability to successfully communicate. We want to tell each other so much. As time has progressed we have been able to say more, to share more but still language remains a barrier. I find that in this frustration, I am forced to concentrate more on body language, gestures and most of all energy. What I have lacked in linguistic ability, I have gained in my enhanced ability to focus on the essence of my everyday experiences. Although my new Turkish friends and I can not always communicate well with each other linguistically, I know that there is an acceptance and a genuine appreciation. I can see it on their faces and in their eyes. Perhaps language can sometimes actually be an obstacle to true understanding. I have often prided myself as one who is deft at wielding my linguistic sword. I understand the power of words and for most of my life I have been able to use this power to my advantage. But now without tricks and turns of phrase, how do my new friends know that I am witty, pithy and cleaver? Not knowing the language makes me more vulnerable. I have got to trust my instincts more. Not knowing makes me more humble.
