I've been in Turkey now for seventeen months and everyday is an adventure in knowing and not knowing the language. Today as I was talking with a friend in my only-present-tense, broken Turkish, I searched for the Turkish word for “curious”(merakli) only to resign myself to “kelime gelmiyor”. Which I think means, literally, “word not come”. Just when I had begun to gain a considerable amount of confidence, I had to admit defeat. I have friends whom I have known for months, but from time to time, each has expressed frustration at our inability to successfully communicate. We want to tell each other so much. As time has progressed we have been able to say more, to share more but still language remains a barrier. I find that in this frustration, I am forced to concentrate more on body language, gestures and most of all energy. What I have lacked in linguistic ability, I have gained in my enhanced ability to focus on the essence of my everyday experiences. Although my new Turkish friends and I can not always communicate well with each other linguistically, I know that there is an acceptance and a genuine appreciation. I can see it on their faces and in their eyes. Perhaps language can sometimes actually be an obstacle to true understanding. I have often prided myself as one who is deft at wielding my linguistic sword. I understand the power of words and for most of my life I have been able to use this power to my advantage. But now without tricks and turns of phrase, how do my new friends know that I am witty, pithy and cleaver? Not knowing the language makes me more vulnerable. I have got to trust my instincts more. Not knowing makes me more humble.
Oh don't beat yourself up too much. When you are about to think up a Turkish sentence, ask yourself: What would Yoda do?
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, it is important to remember: it is usually better to listen- and let people think you are wise- than to speak and show think you are really aren't. This has always been my philosophy. :)
You are so awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the votes of confidence! I still try my best to tackle the language everyday...adim adim.
ReplyDeleteStep by step is always the best, and I agree--there is a gap between what we have always done and what we have to do now. It is humbling, and that can be an opportunity to learn new pathways to mastery. Good job, wifey.
ReplyDeleteI would love to read some more -- Talk about the trip to Ankara to share time with young people interested in AmericanAfrican history. I'll scan the letters in so you can post some of them. I am really proud of how you can touch people's minds and hearts.
ReplyDeleteHey, when are you going to give us some more? I am waiting. Bekliyorum.
ReplyDelete